Make Good Choices

       On  June 18th 1999, I watched my nephew enter this world... and he was slow to take his first breath.  Through my tears of astonishment and let's be honest, confirmation that I wanted to remain childless ...but mostly tears of admiration for my sister, I remember her saying, "Breathe baby, breathe."
Maybe he was questioning his latest incarnation. Maybe he is a soul that's slow, or rather hesitant, to come around to things. Either way, I believe he made a choice to take that breath. And with that breath began what I also believe to be a very specific and rather challenging spiritual journey for this sweet boy... at least in his young years to date. My nephew has a really gooooood heart. A good heart who also seems a bit lost in the woods. I would be remiss in my Auntly duties if I did not gift him with the same sort of advice that I did with my niece for her Sweet Sixteen. However, he would not appreciate a novella like the one I wrote for her so my advice for him is short and sweet:
M A K E  G O O D  C H O I C E S.

     Everything single thing we do comes down to a choice.... e v e r y t h i n g  is a choice. If things aren't going our way, it's probably because of a choice that was made... by us. We are not victims to our lives or to life in general. Yeah, sometimes shit just happens and life throws curveballs, but it is a choice as to how we react and respond to those things.
      There is a whole slew of things one is able to do once they are a legal adult; things like vote, work full time, buy cigarettes, buy fireworks, open a checking/savings account, get a credit card, sign a lease, get married, sue someone, jury duty, get a tattoo/piercing, enlist in the army, so skydiving, drink alcohol in Europe and Canada, be held legally responsible for contracts signed, and go to jail. Welcome to 'Adulting'! I've no doubt you're pretty excited to get to do some of these things. I myself have done almost all of them - not the second I turned 18 of course, but over the course of the last 18 years. However, with choice comes its bff - consequence. No one is immortal. No one is immune. We are all accountable. Choices you make and the consequences that follow now are on you, not on anyone else. That being said, you are not alone. People cannot do the work for us, nor should we want them to. There is great power in self-sufficiency and accomplishment. But never forget you have an incredible network of family / family friends who are always rooting for your success and would happily be a sounding board for you whenever you need us.

     These lyrics came to mind as I was thinking what I wanted to write in your birthday card. It is from the musical 'Into the Woods' which is remarkably appropriate because eighteen is all about starting on the path into the dark and uncharted woods of this next phase of life;  

Mother cannot guide you
Now you're on your own
Only me beside you
Still, you're not alone
No one is alone
Truly
No one is alone

I wish...
I know
Mother isn't here now
Wrong things, right things
Who knows what she'd say?
Who can say what's true?
Nothing's quite so clear now
Do things, fight things
Feel you've lost your way?
You decide, but
You are not alone
Believe me
No one is alone (No one is alone)
Believe me
Truly

People make mistakes
Fathers
Mothers
People make mistakes
Holding to their own
Thinking they're alone
Honor their mistakes
Fight for their mistakes
Everybody makes
One another's terrible mistakes
Witches can be right, giants can be good
You decide what's right, you decide what's good

Just remember
Just remember
Someone is on your side (Our side)
Our side
Someone else is not
While we're seeing our side (Our side)
Our side
Maybe we forgot, they are not alone
No one is alone
Someone is on your side
No one is alone.



      I'm very anxious to see how you choose to write this next chapter for yourself. You are so so so loved.

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